Sunday, November 13, 2005

To be or not to be a Single

We have formed a "Singles Club"...and its members are 2 of my roomies and me. Obviously, the sole criteria for being a member of this club is not having any boyfriend or even a crush( sounds very stringent ?).

* Sigh! *

And we lead a very miserable and tragic life...the misery being watching the lovebirds tweeting sweetly and flying around together in bliss, oblivious of the world where lonely creatures like us dwell and the tragedy being the fact that our romance ends with the romantic stories that we read or movies that we watch or the songs that we hear/sing or even for that matter those rarest of the rare dreams that we have once in a bluemoon.

We are left to wait for our Prince Charming, who will come on a white horse, draped fully in a white dress with only his eyes uncovered...and we are here waiting eternally with nothing visible to our eyes but thick, white fog. Of course, it is impractical even to wait for him in today's world of traffic jams. Who knows, may be his horse broke down due to suffocation caused by pollution or he and his horse were covered with black vehicle smoke which led to his fear of not being accepted as the charming one.

Once, when I said that I had written down those lines which made me think about life, in Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist", AC was shocked and commented,"Deepa! You seriously need a boyfriend! Get a life,girl!".

Sometimes, I feel that having a boyfriend has become a status symbol. If you don't have one, you are looked down upon as a loser and are not good or worthy enough to deserve the love of another person.Sounds so stupid!

For us, the word "boyfriend" has become nothing but a big fat joke. If we want to leave early from work, we are asked " Oh! So you are going out with your boyfriend?". Or if we come late back home from work, this question pops up "You are so late today .Where did you go out with your boyfriend?".

We find ourselves so romantic that we give bright ideas which change people's( Romeo's or Juliet's) life. I have even named my heart-shaped pendant watch( the dial is the pendant of a long chain) which has the design of two flames and another small heart as "Do badan, Ek Jaan", which in English means ' Two bodies, One Soul'.

At times I feel that life would be as beautiful as a Spring morning if there was someone to talk sweet nothings, to have small fights or quarrels and then later make up with him with a cute little sorry, to give gifts on a Valentine's day, to hear him say" I love you" for the umpteenth time and each time those three words sound very new and give you the same thrill as it did for the first time...too good to be true? Yes!

Coming back to reality,I strongly feel that there is nothing more peaceful than being a single. You stay more focussed in life without unnecessary tensions. And for a daydreamer like me, a small distraction lays a firm,earthquake-proof foundation of a huge castle.

There are so many things I want to do in my life that there's no time for things like "boyfriend" or love. I have to build my career and/or pave my way for higher studies and finally settle into a job that I love.

I am reminded of Robert Frost's famous poem "Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening"...

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


Anonymous said...

pls change the template immediately. its looking worst.

Jagan said...

"the sole criteria for being a member of the club is not having any boyfriend or even a crush" - can i joint the club ? i dont hav boyfrds or crushes..etho 4-5 girlfriends mattum irrukanga ;-) ..

VineethaAthrey said...

Hmmm..I totally agree with u Dee.In today's day and age,for people who want to carve out a niche for themselves,having a BF would be a distraction.Though I wonder how some ppl manage so easily.I'd like to learn the art some time.But at this stage, I definitely won't give up my career for a man!!

VineethaAthrey said...

Hey, I also think peace is so much a relative term, its got nothing to do with the physical state of one's boyfriends etc..peace is a state of mind!

NaiKutti said...

i think its just a matter of choice and there is no need to justify anyone (or to feel bad) in having a BF/GF or not having BF/GF.

Anonymous said...

Is this from your mind or brain. Hope you remember Paulo Coelho's words about the contradictions between mind and brain. Dont follow your brain and lose the treasure.

Deepa said...

@Anonymous :

Hope the blog looks better now?


When ur 4-5 girlfriends ditch you, I think, then, u'll be eligible to become a member...

sskb said...

well, all these flowery terms do make sense.. until you have had experiences of the other end of the bridge..

Susindar said...

I jus accidentally saw ur blog.....
I found it interesting, i never used to read any blog till the last line, but urs i read it fully....... it was really something i wanted to read till d last line....... U jus took a decision...... concentrate in one thing..... everything you'll have behind U

Deepa said...


I think Peace is influenced by some external factors one of which is a BF. Now, how it influences a person is relative making peace of mind a relative term.


Totally agree with you...


It is right from my heart... ;)
If the treasure is destined to be mine, then nothing can stop me from finding it or the treasure to find me.


True sskb!
Ikkaraikku akkarai pachchai...Grass is always green on the other side.


ThankYou Susindar!
Keep visiting...

armadillo said...

Depends on experiences, I support being single solves a lot of complications; nevertheless see some of my friends happy in relationships... My vote personally is only for being single and doing better things in life.

sLaSh said...

typical girlie thoughts... well i don think u need a blog... the writings are insipid to evoke interest for a stranger to read it.. may be a "personal diary" sounds fit

Videep said...

hei r u da ?

Videep here...rem :)

Was seeing my friends list in hi5...saw that u added me ... jumped to ur blog the Monday Blues (nice one - dont worry, life @work does start like that, u will be worth more as time passes and u will really feel urself tagged to responsibilities from all ends of a square)

Read ur blog about the singles club...a nice idea...add me in :)
but as @sskb pointed out...none is clear unless we know the other side of the coin...we cant just be on one side of the river thinking that the horizon is just so beautiful and i can never reach it - we can be there in the horizon if we make an attempt to cross the river right :D it girlish or not...the blog is the right place to write about things u care, dont care, wish for, hope to, think of and so it all depends on individual's perspectives .. hehe me in the id:, I will reply back...and do send in details about ur work..wat u do...hows the college and all...waiting to hear from yaaa :) bye bye

Deepa said...


I think there's nothing wrong with my girlie thoughts(me being a girl).
FYI, I'm not writing for the others...I find my blog a way of expressing my thoughts. I don't expect anyone else to read it. If someone does read and has patience enuf to leave a comment, it is fine. I cannot change my style of thought flow to make it an interesting read for the others.

Thanks for reading my blog and leaving a comment. :)


Hey Videep! What a surprise!
Thanks u took time to read my blog.
Welcome to the Singles Club...
yea, will mail you when I'm free.

Anonymous said...

Hey Deepa, this is one of ur friend who is in the other side of the river. I think none of the ppl who has commented to this blog is with me in this side of the river and u hav started a club there... Sigh..

Praying God tht I shldnt be ditched and join u fellaws.. But I know tht it'll not happen..

Anywez.. I'll tell u how this side of the river is..

Itz really nice to be here. I've more challenges in my life than I was there in ur side. I've to meet goals sooner than I thght. I like these challenges. And this makes me more and more enthusiastic. I love my life more now.

Be here and u wud enjoy talking sweet nothings. U'll enjoy the moments when u r with ur BF/GF. Saying 'I Love U' for the umpteenth time. Enjoying a trip with him/her without the knowledge of ur family members. Experience the thrill in tht.

But sometimes I wud say tht this seems to be stoping me or affecting me. I'm trying to run ahead of time. Not to say - the huge fone bills tht ruin my pocket. And crying for some silly things and wondering many times if everything wud go on well !! .

Frankly telling, sometimes I used to think tht it wud hav been even more better if I were with u ppl. But I enjoy being here.

Whatever be it - I love being here..

I wud like to tell more abt this side of the river.. But it wil reveal me easily. But if u find me out, juz mail me (u know my mail id too).

Deepa said...

Hey Anonymous...

Nice to know about your beautiful love-struck life there...

I'm sorry but unable to find you out. Wanna really know who u are...If I know ur mail id then u must obviously be knowing mine,why don u jus mail me?

I think ur revelation to me wudn't hurt( u or me).

Waiting for ur mail... :)